1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk
and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word
for word what you shouldn’t have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind
yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our home, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your
nursing home one day.