“Some marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning.”

“Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the number that re-enlist.” – James Garner

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Don’t assume that every sad-eyed woman has loved and lost – she may have got him.”

“A man usually falls in love with a woman who asks the kinds of questions he can answer.” – Ronald Colman

“Before marriage the three little words are ‘I love you’, after marriage they are, ‘let’s eat out’.”

“By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

“A diplomatic husband said to his wife, ‘How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?'”

“It takes a smart spouse to have the last word and not use it.”

“Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.” – Arthur Baer

“The most difficult years of marriage are those following the wedding.”

“Marriage is like twirling a baton, handsprings, or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy till you try it.”

“Many husbands go broke on the money their wives save on sales.”

“There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage.”

“In Hollywood all marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.” – Shelley Winters